Thursday, December 20, 2012

Literary disurbances: the last call


It was terrible, Honey, I was driving on the road, so quietly, and then a car overtakes me, FIUU!, and then another, FIUU!, and then other, FIUU!, when the mobile just rings, RING, RING, RING!, I slow a little to answer and, at the other side GUAU, GUAU, GUAU, MIAU, MIAU, a pet shop, wrong number, so I hung up with a tachycardia not to be told, BUM, BUM, BUM!, non-stop, and I am with the nerves on edge, when, suddenly, COF, COF, COF, an incredible cough, followed by I don’t know how many ACHIS, ACHIS, ACHIS!, that made me close the eyes for a moment and then CHAS, TRAS, PAF, ZAS!, when I open them, I am with the car stamped against a traffic sign, dammit, why they put them in the middle, I try to start the engine but it doesn’t do neither RUN, nor RAN!, so RING, RING, I call the tow car, which comes along with an ambulance, NIII-NOOOO, NIII-NOOOO, does it hurts you here AY!, does it hurt you there AY!, swallow this, GULP, GULP, sign here, CHAS, CHAS, you may leave, I take a taxi, it gets into a traffic jam, MEC!, MEC!, everybody honks, and my head about to explode, PUM, I get out of the taxi with such bad luck that I slip, CATAPUN, I have a deplorable look, and I will miss our date. Honey? CLONC!, she hung up.
Diagnostic: onomatopoeia, the sign created o imitate a natural sound.

Involution


Not a rumour in the dark.
His hands were behind his back, the wrists bound with a cord.A man stood by a whitewashed wall in southern Alabama.
He faced the firing squad and closed his eyes in order to fix his last thoughts upon his mother.
Striking through the thought of his dear mother was a sound which he could neither ignore nor understand: a sharp, distinct metallic percussion like the stroke of a blacksmith’s hammer upon the anvil. They hurt his ear like the thrust of a knife, he feared he would shriek. What he heard was the ticking of his watch.
The soldiers were at “parade rest”, the butts of their rifles on the ground, the barrels inclining slightly backward against the right shoulder, the hands crossed about the stock.
He saw his mother holding his hand and taking him back to his home town. They passed through the dirty streets and saw a dead dog on the berm.
Further away they heard the hue-and-cry of some teenagers fighting for a joint of marihuana.
She laid him on the bed. Daniel stretched out and closed his eyes again.
A lieutenant stood at the right of the line, the point of his sword upon the ground, his left hand resting upon his right.
A doctor completed the scene.
Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is to be received with formal manifestation of respect, even by those most familiar with him.
The man who was about to be shot was apparently about thirty-five years of age. He had a kindly expression which one would hardly have expected in someone whose life was at stake.
His features were good –a straight nose, firm mouth, broad forehead from which his long, dark hair was combed straight back, falling behind his ears to the collar of his well fitting frock coat.
Evidently this was no vulgar assassin.
The soldiers pointed directly to the body.
The night was darker than usual and he wanted to find a star, but the narrow window of the cell barely allowed him to see a tiny piece of sky.
He raised his head. His mother adjusted the pillow.
All of a sudden, he started bleeding from the chest.
The shirt with the inscription of his inmate number got tainted with blood.
The mother noticed that her son had urinated on himself; she raised him and took him to the bedroom. There, she changed the lower part of his pyjamas.
The soldiers dissolved the firing squad.
The lieutenant ordered the doctor to certify the death.
The mother kissed him on his cheek and closed his eyes to sleep at last.
The doctor observed with astonishment the bundle lying on the floor, by the wall.
The criminal’s body had been reduced to a four year old.

What kind of Toastmasters is this?



The Irish are legendary by the amount of alcohol they can ingest. They hang out in the Pub until late, while their wives or partners wait for them at home. These often call the pubs to find out.
In a Dublin pub I saw the following notice:
TELEPHONE ANSWERING CHARGES …
•        NOT HERE                     .50 €
•        JUST LEFT                     .75 €
•        ON HIS WAY                1.00 €
•        WHO?                          2.00 €
Mobile phones? No this was 1960, the year I went to Ireland, when I was seventeen.
I went to an Irish family home and a girl of that family would come to my home in Malaga. It was cheap, it was convenient and it was practical.
How to call that arrangement?
When I wrote to the Irish family, by hand, no Internet either, I searched the dictionary and I found a word that seemed perfect, because it sounded like international and course:

INTERCOURSE!

So I happily wrote to the Irish family saying that I wanted intercourse with one of their daughters.
With the English language you may commit terrible mistakes.
Things are easier today. You can find the exact meaning of the words if you Google them.
When I arrived to the family, the father,  Paddy, wanted to know about me, and asked if I had any “convictions”, to which I answered that, yes, I was a good Roman catholic.
But, actually, Paddy wanted to know if been in jail before.
Then, we began to speak about our respective countries.
We discussed that in Spain we have coined a term “mañana” which means that: the work may be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the next after that.
I asked Paddy if there was an equivalent Irish term and he told me: "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency."
Altogether, I spent a month in Ireland. What did I learn?
Well, I learned 3 things.
1.Ireland is a very catholic country, where there is a catholic priest or nun for every 264 citizens.

2.I learned that the Irish drink a dark warm beer called Guinness “stout” in a long glass which they say it looks like a priest: a black body and a white collar.
I don’t know if there is something called a nun; a white body and a black veil on top. Perhaps some form of Irish coffee?
3. I learned the meaning of the word “toast” because that the Irish are, yes, catholic, but they spend far more time drinking beer and giving toasts in the pub than singing hymns in the church.
What takes me to the central point of my Speech: how we call Toastmasters to a place where there are no toasts and there is no beer.
To remedy that unlucky situation, I would now propose a toast to you.
With this “priest” of beer I say (pretending to hoist a glass of beer in my hand and looking a little drunk):
"May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten."





Poor memory


I'm here to talk about a subject that for years was a real problem for me, but today, thanks to the latest technology, I have completely overcome.
I mean ... I have it written in the hand ..., bad memory.
I have it written here because it is the only way for me to remember. Before I had it written in a notebook...
I do not know what I did with it.
Now I write down everything on my body.
People think I have a tattoo on my arm, but once I wrote a shopping list there with a Rotring pen and it stayed there.
I am the only guy who has written on the biceps "chicken breast",
They wanted to charge me three thousand Euros to take it off, so I painted a heart around it and now I say that it was a girlfriend I had.
The blame for my poor memory lies on my mother who forced me to remember a lot of things and the result is that nothing more fits into my brain.
My mother would tell me:
- 'Son, go down and fetch the bread and, as you do, buy olives, tuna, milk and lettuce.
And, when leaving home house, you kept repeating:
-        "Bread, olives, tuna, milk and lettuce,
-        Bread, olives, tuna, milk and lettuce '...
And then you passed by a neighbour, and she said:
- "Hello, dear, how's your mother?
And you were repeating:
- "Bread, dear ... tuna ... Well, thank you.
- Bread .. olives
Shit.
But your mother never forgot. On seeing you arrive, she said
-        The lettuce is missing.
I think mothers have at least 5 Gigabytes of memory
My teachers wanted me to remember long lists of names like the tributaries of the Tagus: Jarama, Guadarrama, Guadiela.
Hallo dear, how is your mother? bread, lettuce, Jarama, Guadarrama, Guadiela
So, I am now a disaster for names.
I only learned my wife’s name after two years of marriage.
In the meantime, I kept on calling her "honey."
If I reserved at a restaurant, they would say:
- "Yes, I have a table for Pablo Gómez-Mora and honey."
If I was with her, and I met an old friend from college, it was hard to make the introductions:
-        "Honey, college roommate,
-        college roommate, honey."
Eventually she realized, of course. And she got angry:
-        "You do not know my name."
I said:
-        sure I know"
-        And what is it? '.
-        Eh ...".
Then I looked at my hand and climbed up the biceps to finally exclaim:
-        Chicken breast!"
And the dates, it’s better not to talk about, of course.
In general, men have a problem with dates.
If you ask a man when it is his wedding anniversary he would say:
- "These things are taken care of by my wife."
It's not our fault, we're not genetically prepared.
One day my wife told me:
-        "Do you know what day is tomorrow?".
And I said:
-        "What day is it today?”
-        "Tuesday."
-        "Well then tomorrow is Wednesday."
And she said,
-        "Yes, but what Wednesday?".
-        "Hey ..., is it Ash Wednesday?».
-        "It's my birthday."
-        "Honey, congratulations!
-        And how many..?
How angry she got! But she changes her age every year, so it is impossible to remember.
By the time I learned the birth date, she was 33, and the she goes, and turns 34.
I am now taking ginseng, which they say is good for ... memory.
It was recommended by my dermatologist, because if I keep writing things in my body, I will destroy my skin…
The problem is that I never remember if I took it.
The other day I had an overdose. I was quietly at home and, suddenly, I said to my wife:
-        Hey, chicken breast, now I remember!
- What?, she said
I replied:
-        Bread, olives, tuna, milk ... and lettuce! ».
And what is that?
The tributaries of the Tagus!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Oh, what a joy to have a garden!


Most people think that having a garden is a joy in the life of the gardener.
But, what does a garden do? To grow, develop and mature.
What the gardener does? To cut, trim and slash.
So I will divide you into two groups: growers and cutters.
You are the growers. What do the growers do? Say it with me
GROW, GROW, GROW
You are the cutters. What do the cutters do? Say it with me
CUT, CUT, CUT
So, you sit there pretty in your garden, watching the greenery and listening to the birds’ songs. From time to time, weather permitting; you make a casual dip into your swimming pool and go out to lie lazily in your hammock.
While you are listening to the birds and lying in your hammock, what the plants are doing?
GROW, GROW, GROW
You don’t notice it, but they are growing. Slowly, but steadily, they are growing. Yeah! Plants are intent in making your garden a chaotic jungle.
The tendency of things to a state of disorder is a natural law. And, yes, your garden tends to a state of chaos
Are you prepared to fight against it?
Are you prepared to fight against a gigantic producer of trash?
Yes?
Then, what do you do?
CUT, CUT, CUT
Unless you are prepared to spend a lot of money in gardeners, you should be conscious you’ll have to do the gardening yourself.
I am one of these people. I do the gardening myself.
My garden produces about 150 kg of thrash per week.
Yes, no kidding. 150 kg.
The two main culprits are mowing the lawn and trimming the hedge.
The lawn
They say that lawn requires a lot of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. It is fine to have lawn but, if you want it green, you have to water it, and if you water it, what does it?
GROW, GROW, GROW
and what you do?
CUT, CUT, CUT
Mowing the lawn is no small task. Here are the things you need
·        a lawn mower
·        a good supply of gigantic garbage bags
·        gasoline and oil
·        a handcart
·        two hours of hard work
What is the right time to mow the lawn? None, in the morning the grass is too wet, and in the afternoon the air it’s too warm.
The mower is a dangerous machine. You may hit a stone, and ruin the blade, or you may be dragged by the machine and fall or hit a branch with your head when you drive. You have to wear a hat, which limits your sight of overhead obstacles.
You also have to be careful with the insects, attracted by your sweating.
And the lawn has to be watered. Thinking of it is ridiculous, you spend a lot of water, watering you lawn for the lawn to
GROW, GROW, GROW
and a lot of effort to
CUT, CUT, CUT
The hedge
Trimming the hedge is no monkey business either. A common error is to cut the hedge too high not to see the stupid of your neighbour and his noisy friends. Cut the hedge too high and you will need a scaffold to get to get over it.
Unless you are a master drawer, chances are that your hedge is not uniform. In some places it will be thick, in others, thin. The horizontal line will not be level and the vertical either. So you
CUT, CUT, CUT
And the hedge has no uniform edges.
The electric trimming machine is utterly diabolic. The smallest thing that could happen is to cut the electric cord; the worst is to cut your own finger.
So, yes what a happy time, when I sat in my garden, the grass mown, the fence trimmed, the sprinklers working, and the swimming pool free of leaves and algae.
To conclude: gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Gay lisp



The last four years I've kept a blog in spanish, in which one of the most popular entries has been the one about gay lisp.The theme is no small matter, No monkey business. It’s serious business.

A CRISP DEFINITION OF LISP:  a stereotypical speech attribute associated with gay males in English-speaking countries.
This is something not to be taken lightly. There have been studies: LINVILLE (1998) and MUNSON et al (2006) and Professors Henry Rogers and Ron Smyth at the University of Toronto investigated this.
Scientific conclusions.
  1. ONLY GAY MEN HAVE IT
But not all gay men have it.Gay women don’t
  1. HOW TO DEFINE GAY LISP
There are a few features to stereotypical gay speech.  
    1. One is pitch. All things being equal, the higher a voice, the more effeminate a voice sounds, for the obvious reasons.
    2. The second is pitch variability. The more up and down a voice goes in conversation, the more likely it is to be perceived as "excitable", feminine and gay in men. 
  1. DO THEY SPEAK LIKE WOMEN?
No they don’t. It’s something different.

  1. DOES IT COME NATURAL, OR IS ACQUIRED?
Hard to say

  1. DOES ONLY HAPPEN IN ENGLISH? OR IN OTHER LANGUAGES TOO?
It happens in other languages, although I don't know if happens in languages such as the swahili or vietnamese.
  1. DOES IT SIGNAL OTHER MEN THAT THEY ARE GAY?
Since it's a speech pattern, and not some other marker, like clothing, you can also mostly 'turn it off' at will, if meeting someone you do not wish to reveal your orientation to.

  1. THE GAY ACCENT MAY ALSO JUST BE A RESULT OF LIVING IN PROXIMITY TO OTHER GAY PEOPLE with the same accent - a way of identifying with a community.
  2. DO GAY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE THE LISP? No they don’t. I don’t understand it either. I’m not trying higher pitch or anything. It’s just like… the way it is”.
  3. OFTEN, THE 'SHANE' ACCENT IS USED AS AN IDENTIFIER FOR SUBMISSIVE homosexuals, in contrast to the characteristics of the dominant, or 'butch' homosexuals. -Victor Fieri, August 26, 2005.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Homeless children


This is Irma.
She is a sweet little girl, 4 years old. Irma has a good personality, is friendly and a leader in her group. She is a smart and capable child. But, she was abandoned by an unknown person at the Judge Office doorsteps, in El Progreso, Honduras.
¿How can anyone abandon such a beautiful creature? My heart breaks with pain.

It is hard to imagine, but true, millions of children across the world call the streets home. Their young lives are marred by neglect and abuse. Too often drugs become a cheap and reliable escape from their lives of misery.

How does a child end up on the streets?

The reasons are many and complex: poverty, disintegration of the family, abuse and neglect are chief culprits.

Some children are sent to the streets to earn money for the family. Other children turn to the streets hoping to escape physical and sexual abuse.

Many turn to the streets looking to escape the terrible reality of their impoverished home.

Sadly, the find even worse misery await them in the streets.

These young children live lives we can’t even imagine. Lost to the streets they take comfort usually in drugs. Huffing shoe glue is a common practice and reduces hunger pangs. Flattened cardboard boxes often serve as a street child’s “mattress”.

Honduras is one of the poorest countries in the world. It has a GNP per capita of about 1.000 $ (vs. 30.000 for Spain), 150th in a ranking of 215 countries.

With an area of 43,277 square miles (112,088 square kilometres) and a population of only 6.9 million Honduras is also one of the smallest countries in Latin America.

Honduras’s economic and social problems were compounded in 1998 when Hurricane Mitch struck. More than 5,000 people were killed and 70% of the country’s crops were destroyed. Damage was estimated at $3 billion dollars and economic and social development was set back decades. The poverty and unemployment has caused a dramatic rise in gang warfare throughout Honduras since Mitch struck. Police estimate that more than 33,000 gang members stalk the country.

Close to 65% of Hondurans live below the poverty line with malnutrition, poor housing and domestic violence rampant.
Can you do anything to help?

Yes you can. There are organisations that create brighter futures for these children.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The architecture of a novel

 


This is the longest novel I have in my library: Don Quixote de la Mancha
And this is the shortest: When he woke up the Dinosaur was still there.
All the novels have a common structure, they have at least three dimensions:
  1. Spatial dimension: the Storyteller
  2. Time dimension
  3. Level of reality 

1.   The Storyteller.

¿Who is going to tell the story?
    • Omniscient storyteller (kind of a God that knows everything). He speaks as He.
    • Character storyteller. He speaks as I.
    • Ambiguous storyteller. He speaks as you
For instance, in the story by Monterroso
The storyteller is, apparently, an Omniscient narrator
For instance in Don Quixote
In  In a village of La Mancha, the name of which I have no desire to call to mind, there lived not lo  long since one of those gentlemen ...
It appears it is an Omniscient narrator but, in some occasions, speaks from an I (Character).

For instance In the “Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck:
There are several character storytellers.

For instance in Moby Dick by Herman Melville:
“Call me Ishmael”. It’s a character, but not the main one. Difficult to say who is it: Captain Ahab? The whale? At the end all die in the Pequod. Who is the storyteller? An omniscient one.
For instance in As I lay dying, from John Steinbeck
The storytellers are the members of the Bendron family in succession
 2.   The Time
 There is a chronological time and a psychological time.
Chronological is the time that the timekeeper is kindly counting now.
Psychological time is the time that goes by quickly when we enjoy intense experiences that absorb us, and that seems infinite when we are waiting or suffering.
 Novels create their own time.
For instance in the story by Monterroso
The storyteller is in the future telling us a story that happened in a mediate past.
For instance in An occurrence al Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce
A man is going to be hanged but the rope snaps, he reach the river crawls by the bank, reaches his house and, when he is about to embrace his wife … the knot tightens… He has imagined all that in the seconds that the knot tightens.
The storyteller may place himself
  • at the time of the action (in the present)
  • in the past and narrate the present or the future
  • in the present o future and narrate the past
For example in Rayuela by Julio Cortázar
The last chapters end by referring to one another chaotically. You will never finish the novel if you follow the instructions of the author.
For example in Ulysses by James Joyce
Narrates barely 24 hours in the life of Leopold Bloom

3.   Level of reality

Initially, there are two levels or reality: The real world and the fantastic world. The storyteller and the story may be in different levels of reality
For example, in the short story of Monterrosso
The story is in a fantastic level, no doubt. The storyteller is in a real level opposed to what it narrates.
The word STILL (was there) is a manifestation of surprise: was there, although it shouldn’t be
For example, in The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
There are two storytellers: the first one that transmits what he has heard the governess, and the governess who affirms she has seen the ghosts. But the governess believed to see, so it is a real story narrated from a subjective viewpoint
For instance in “To the search of Lost Time” by Marcel Proust
What is important is not what happens in the real world but the way his memory retains the lived experience.
All those three dimensions should lead to the persuasive power of a novel.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

False friends

Tricky words and "false friends" in Spanish
In this section, we look at various words that, for one reason or another, can cause difficulty for English-speaking learners of Spanish (and in some cases, for foreign learners of Spanish in general). Various of these words can cause difficulty because the look like a particular English word, but don't have exactly the same meaning (or sometimes have a completely different meaning).
abogado
This word doesn't mean avocado, but lawyersolicitorattorney. In most Spanish-speaking countries, the Spanish for avocado is aguacate.
abuso, abusar
The verb abusar often means to overdo itto use/consume in excess. For example: abusar del tabaco essentially means to smoke too muchabusar del queso means to eat too much cheese etc. Similarly, abuso often meansoveruseexcessive consumption.
However, abusar can still mean to abuse, either as in "to misuse, take advantage of" (e.g. abusar de su posición =to abuse one's position), or as in "to molest, sexually abuse". And the noun abuso can have corresponding meanings, often translated by abuse.
acertar, acertado
This verb generally means to hit (the target), as well as "get right" or "get it right" (cf the English expression hit the nail on the head). To say assert (as in "state"), you could use the Spanish verb afirmar. Other possibilities includeverificar (with the meaning of "verify") or insistir en (with the meaning of "stress" or "insist"). A possible translation for to assert oneself is imponerse.
actual, actualmente
The word actual means presentcurrenttopicalfashionable etc; hence, actualmente covers meanings such as at presentcurrentlynowadays.
To say actual, a common word is realwhat is the actual figure? = ¿cuál es el número real?actually is often conveyed by the phrase en realidad or realmente.
arena
The Spanish word arena generally means sand. It is occasionally used to mean arena in the sporting sense, but usually when talking in the historic sense of a Roman arena. An arena in the general sense of "stadium" is usually un estadio, and the arena of a circus would generally be referred to as la pista.
campo
The Spanish word campo usually means either field (either in the agricultural sense or in other senses such as "sports field", "oilfield" etc) or countryside. It can also mean "field" in the figurative sense of "subject", "domain" (el campo de la medicina = the field of medicine), "range" in various mathematical/scientific uses (campo visual = field of vision), and in various computing senses (in a window or on a database).
For camp, either campo or campamento are generally used: for example both campamento de verano or campo de verano exist (for "holiday camp"); similarly, camp(ament)o de trabajocamp(ament)o de refugiados. Of the two,campo possibly suggests a more "military" sense.
cantina
The word cantina doesn't usually mean a canteen in the sense of a communcal eating place in a factory or business. Depending on the country, a cantina is usually a type of bar or budget restaurant. The Spanish word for canteen is usually comedor.
carpeta
The Spanish word carpeta generally means either folder (either for paper, or in the computing sense of "directory"), orbriefcase.
The Spanish word for carpet is usually alfombra.
carta
The word carta usually means lettermenu or map. It is also used in various administrative senses, where it can meanbilldeedcharter.
The word carta is not the usual word for card, which is tarjeta. (So, for example, a credit card is una tarjeta de crédito.) However, carta is used for a card in games (either actual playing cards, or something like the instruction cards in monopoly etc).
collar
The Spanish word collar is a collar in the sense of necklace. A shirt collar would be referred to with the word cuello.
competencia
The word competencia is commonly used to mean competition. However, it can also mean competence as in English (both in the sense of "ability", and in the legal sense of "jurisdiction").
compromiso
The word compromiso generally means commitment or (moral) obligation, as well as engagement (to be married). However, it can also mean mutual agreementcompromise.
concurso
This word doesn't generally mean the same as English concourse. Probably the most common meaning is competition,contest; it can also mean cooperation.
conferencia
In Spanish, the word conferencia can refer to a single talk or lecture, as well as a whole conference (in the political or academic sense).
coraje
As well as meaning courage, the word coraje can mean angerrage (me da coraje means something like it makes me sickit makes me mad).
currículum
This word means what UK speakers call a CV (from the Latin curriculum vitae), and what US speakers generally call aresumé.
A educational curriculum, in the sense of a "prescribed program of study", would generally be referred to in Spanish as a programa (de estudios) (está en el programa = it's on the curriculum).
decepción, decepcionado
These words mean disappointmentdisappointed respectively. The Spanish for deception is generally engaño, from the verb engañar ("to deceive").
delito, deleite
These similar-looking words mean completely different things. The first means crimemisdemeano(u)r; the second means delight, pleasure.
desgracia, desgraciar, desgraciado
The word desgracia essentially means bad luckmisfortune (either referring to an unfortunate event or theresult/feeling caused by that event). It doesn't generally mean disgrace, except in the phrase caer en desgracia ("to fall from grace", "to lose favo(u)r"). The verb desgraciar generally means something close to ruinspoil. The adjectivedesgraciado generally means unfortunatewretchedfully of misery.
The Spanish for disgrace is generally deshonra or vergüenza, with the verb deshonrar (to disgrace). To say what a disgrace!that's a disgrace!, you could use ¡qué escándalo!.
dirección
The word dirección means direction, as you might expect, either in the sense of wayorientation or in the sense ofmanagementact of directing.
However, it is also the word for address (either in the sense of postal address or in the computing sense of "memory location").
discutir, discusión
The verb discutir means either argue or "discuss" as in debatethrash out. To convey the meaning of discuss as in simply "talk about", hablar/platicar de... are often closer.
A similar point goes for discusión: the word often implies a fairly "heated" discussion, argument or debate, and the word conversación is often more suitable to imply a fairly 'neutral' discussion.
disgusto, disgustar, disgustado
The verb disgustar essentially means to upset, cause upset/displeasure to; hence digustado essentially means upset,displeased.
As well as meaning upsetdispleasure, the word disgusto can also mean rowargument.
The Spanish verb repugnar carries the meaning of English disgust.
dormitorio
Especially in Spain, this word is used for a bedroom (or a set of bedroom furniture). A dormitory would generally be referred to as a residencia (and in full form, a student dorm would be a residencia de estudiantes).
educación
The word educación can be used to refer to school education, as in English education. The Spanish word enseñanzaoften has a similar meaning.
Unlike the English word education, the Spanish word educación can also refer to upbringing or manners. Similarly, describing a person as bien educado would imply that they are well-manneredpoliteof good upbringing rather than well "educated" in the sense of having dedicated a lot of time to studies.
embarazar, embarazado, embarazo
The verb embarazar has three meanings which, depending on your point of view, are quite different. The most common is to get pregnant. However, the verb can also mean either to embarrass or to hinder.
Therefore, the adjective embarazado commonly means pregnant, although it could also mean embarrassed. The nounembarazo commonly means pregnancy, but can also mean hinderance or embarrassment.
emoción
In Spanish, this word often conveys the notion of excitement. For example: ¡qué emoción! means something like how exciting!that's really exciting!. Similarly, emocionado generally means excited.
éxito
This word means success; the Spanish for exit is, of couse, salida.
fabrica
The word fábrica generally means factorymillworks, referring to the building where something is manufactured. It can also refer manufacturing or production, though fabricación is also used with that sense.
The Spanish word for fabric is generally tela.
falta
The word falta essentially means lackabsence; it is related to the verb faltar meaning to be missing, not be enough. The general word for fault in the sense of "flaw", "defect" is fallo (especially in Spain) or falla (especially in Latin America). In the sense of "blame", fault would usually be culpa. To say it's not my fault, common expressions are yo no tengo la culpa or no es culpa mína.
Occasionally, the English word fault means something like "shortcoming", "lack of something", especially when referring to a person. In that sense, a possible Spanish translation would be falta (another possibility is defecto). For example, in Spain (but not usually in Latin America), the expression sacarle faltas a alguien is sometimes used to mean to find fault with sb.
In sport, falta means foul (and in some games, the English word fault is also used with this sense).
finalidad
This word generally means purpose, rather than "finality".
ignorar
In English, "ignore" always means to deliberately disregard or take no notice of. In Spanish, ignorar can also have this meaning. However, it can also mean to unintentionally not know about something.
increíble
This word means unbelievableincredible; note that it doesn't have a d in Spanish!
inhabitable
This word means the opposite of English inhabitable! In the English word inhabitable, the in- is a suffix used to form the word inhabit. The opposite, uninhabitable, is formed with the prefix un-. In Spanish, the basic verb is habitar and the basic adjective habitable. And in Spanish, the prefix in- is the equivalent of English un-, giving the oppositeinhabitable = uninhabitable.
injuria, injuriar
In everyday Spanish, the word injuria means verbal abuseinsults. It is also used in the plural, in a similar way to English insults. It is also used in the legal sense of slander. Similarly, the verb injuriar means to insult, verbally abuse(or to slander).
The word for injury is usually herida or lesiónto injure would usually be lastimar or herir. To say he was injured in the accident, you could say fue/se quedó herido en el accidente.
Just very occasionally, in literary use, these words are found with a meaning similar to damageinjury. For example, the expression desafiar las injurias del tiempo would mean something like to defy agingto defy the passage of time.
lectura
The word lectura, connected to the verb leer, means reading. A lecture is usually a conferencia.
librería
Usually, this word means bookshopbookstore rather than referring to a place where you can borrow books. The word for library in the sense of "place where you can refer to or borrow books" is generally biblioteca; other portmanteau words based on -teca are springing up, so a media library could be a mediateca.
For library in the sense of "general collection of books/things", librería is sometimes used. For library in the computing sense of "suite of routines", both librería and biblioteca are used. A current Google search estimate gives 19,800 results for librería de funciones vs 25,500 results for biblioteca de funciones.
Particularly in Spain, librería can mean bookcase; in Mexico, the word is usually librero, whilst biblioteca is reportedly used in the rest of Latin America (cf Diccionario americano de dudas frecuentes de la lengua española (Spanish Edition), p. 159).
oración
The word oración can mean prayer (like the rare English word oration), and also sentence. Another common word forsentence is the feminine word frase.
parientes
The Spanish word parientes refers to (family) relations in general. To say my parents, used mis padres or, more informally, mis papás.
real
The word real can mean either real or royal!
realizar
The Spanish verb realizar generally means to carry out, fulfil (in a sense, "make real"). It's sometimes a posh way of saying hacer. The pronominal form realizarse often means to come about, come true, come to fruition (e.g. se realizaron mis sueños = my dreams came true).
To say realise, a common expression is darse cuenta. For example me di cuenta de que... I realised that...no nos dimos cuenta = we didn't realise.
sentencia
This word generally means sentence in the legal sense. A sentence as a unit of writing or speech is usually una fraseor una oración.
suceder, suceso
The verb suceder generally means to happen. Following from this meaning, the noun suceso generally means event orthing that happened. The expression todo un suceso means something like a commotionsomething of a spectacle, and could have either a positive or negative sense. So just very occasionally, a possible translation could be success.
But normally, a success is un éxito (not to be confused with the word for exit, which is salida!). To say succeed in the sense of be a success, the usual phrase is tener éxito (to talk about either a person or an event, film etc) or ser un éxito (usually if talking about a party, film etc).
The expression suceder a can also mean to succeed in the sense of "to come after". Then, sucesivosucesivamentegenerally mean what you'd expect.
trampa
The word trampa usually means trap or trick. The phrase hacer trampa means to cheat.
The word for tramp (as in a vagrant) is usually vagabundo (or vagabunda for a female).
vaso
The word vaso usually means (drinking) glass. It can also have a more general sense of receptacle, so a vase could just about be un vaso (para flores). But usually, the Spanish word for vase is florero.