Dreams

I’d like to start by posing a question. Do you dream at night?

Yes?

Dreaming is good because:

-      you cannot commit any sin;

-      you can do extraordinary things with your body;

-      you can meet the girl of your dreams, do extraordinary things with her and, still… do not commit any sin.

Are your dreams normal or do you have strange dreams sometimes?

Strange?

The other day I had a very strange dream… well, I’ll tell you:

I was in a public park and…, I was in a public park and… I don’t remember anything else…

It happens to me all the time… I forget my dreams…

¿Does it happen to you?

On the one side, is better that I forget my dreams because, on one occasion I told the psychiatrist about my dreams and he recommended me “special treatment”. Which I don’t know if it means that I should be “treated with special care” or, so to speak, that I needed a “specialised medical treatment”… I don’t remember which one. Like the dreams… ,like the pills that I forget if I took them or not...

But, what do we dream? (When we remember…)

Strange as it may seem, all my dreams are related to flying:

That I fly, that I have the fly open, that I cannot fly, that I kill people on the fly, that I fly over stormy waters and, finally, that strange ideas fly over my mind.

1. That I fly

I dream that I soar against the wind open my arms and start flying. I am a vulture, a rapacious predator. What could this dream mean? Probably it means that what they say of us, lawyers, is true: we are all vultures.

2. That I have the fly open in front of an audience

Last night, I dreamed just that. I was in front of the contest judges with my fly open. What was the meaning of that dream? that I feared exposing my brains. This is, you know the place where women think we, men, have the brains.

3. That I are paralyzed and cannot fly from the place I am

If you dream that you are paralyzed and cannot move, you may feel unable to deal with a situation in real life.

The situation requires you to run, but you can’t move. It’s distressing. Imagine, the girl of your dream tells you come … come...! and you cannot move an inch.

4. That I kill my in-laws on the fly

OK, that’s not wrong because, experts say, that whenever we kill someone in dreams, we are in fact saving his life. That’s why I wake up happy every morning, knowing I have saved the life of all these lovely relatives. I am particularly happy the night after Christmas when I run out of ammunition.

5. That I fly over stormy waters

It means, experts say, that you are facing difficult situations. That is a sophisticated way of saying that you are about to wet your bed, to piss yourself. Actually, the difficult situation you are really facing is how to wake up and get to the loo quickly.

6. That the doubt “Am I asleep or awake?” flies above my mind

Three big questions:

-      What if nothing is real and all my life is a dream and I am dreaming within my dream?

-      What if I am dreaming right now and you, fellow toastmasters, are a product of my imagination?

-      What if I this is not a Toastmasters Contest, but a meeting of Alcoholics Anonimous?

Well, since I am sure, this is a Toastmasters meeting, I’d like to finish with a toast because, what kind of Toastmasters is this if there are no toasts?

“If the wine is cheap, we sleep. If we sleep, we don’t cheat. If we don’t cheat, in the heaven we meet. And, if we are going to heaven, let’s drink till eleven”.