What kind of Toastmasters is this?

The Irish are legendary by the amount of alcohol they can ingest. They hang out in the Pub until late, while their wives or partners wait for them at home. These often call the pubs to find out.

In a Dublin pub I saw the following notice:

… TELEPHONE ANSWERING CHARGES …

•        NOT HERE                     .50 €

•        JUST LEFT                     .75 €

•        ON HIS WAY                1.00 €

•        WHO?                          2.00 €

Mobile phones? No this was 1960, the year I went to Ireland, when I was seventeen.

I went to an Irish family home and a girl of that family would come to my home in Malaga. It was cheap, it was convenient and it was practical.

How to call that arrangement?

When I wrote to the Irish family, by hand, no Internet either, I searched the dictionary and I found a word that seemed perfect, because it sounded like international and course:

INTERCOURSE!

So I happily wrote to the Irish family saying that I wanted intercourse with one of their daughters.

With the English language you may commit terrible mistakes.

Things are easier today. You can find the exact meaning of the words if you Google them.

When I arrived to the family, the father,  Paddy, wanted to know about me, and asked if I had any “convictions”, to which I answered that, yes, I was a good Roman catholic.

But, actually, Paddy wanted to know if been in jail before.

Then, we began to speak about our respective countries.

We discussed that in Spain we have coined a term “mañana” which means that: the work may be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the next after that.

I asked Paddy if there was an equivalent Irish term and he told me: "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency."

Altogether, I spent a month in Ireland. What did I learn?

Well, I learned 3 things.

1.Ireland is a very catholic country, where there is a catholic priest or nun for every 264 citizens.

2.I learned that the Irish drink a dark warm beer called Guinness “stout” in a long glass which they say it looks like a priest: a black body and a white collar.

I don’t know if there is something called a nun; a white body and a black veil on top. Perhaps some form of Irish coffee?

3. I learned the meaning of the word “toast” because that the Irish are, yes, catholic, but they spend far more time drinking beer and giving toasts in the pub than singing hymns in the church.

What takes me to the central point of my Speech: how we call Toastmasters to a place where there are no toasts and there is no beer.

To remedy that unlucky situation, I would now propose a toast to you.

With this “priest” of beer I say (pretending to hoist a glass of beer in my hand and looking a little drunk):

"May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten."